Struggle

The last few days have been a struggle for me to keep from overeating.  I think I am in that mind-set of "oh well, it is the holiday season, enjoy yourself".  That is one voice in my head and then there is the other voice begging me to restrain myself so that I can fit into all those clothes that still await my losing more pounds and inches.


At lunch today, I did not order a baked potato like I wanted to,  but instead settled for the rice that came with the meal and the broccoli - AND - I did not finish my meal, but chose to take half of it home.  That was a struggle because I could have easily eaten the whole plate full of food.  I practically had to sit on my hands to refrain from eating it all in one fell swoop.  I was full though and I was determined to listen to that full feeling.


Tonight I wanted popcorn - the regular kind that you make on the stove and smother with butter and salt.  I convinced myself that I really did not want to clean up the heavy pot and the big bowl and therefore talked myself into having a 100-calorie bag of microwave popcorn.  Just not the same.  Again, it was a struggle.


When will it be easy to make these hard decisions?  When will I not even think about it?  When will food be just fuel and not the high point of my day?