Friday, April 30, 2010

04830/10 - Food

What I ate today in no particular order:

Thinly sliced smoked turkey.
1/2 cup of chocolate Cheerios
Bread - six slices in total (4 low calorie, 2 Ezekiel)
Almond butter with flaxseed - 1 tablespoon
Sugar-free bread & butter pickles
Not baked, not fried, popped potato chips (Trader Joes)
Two eggs scrambled.
1 WW Fudge bar

Can you figure out what got eaten at what meal?

Thursday, April 29, 2010

04/29/10 - Food

This morning I thought about weighing myself. I felt lighter and wanted to confirm that feeling. It has been almost a month since I started this blog and I felt that I must have lost at least a pound. But how would I feel if it was only one pound? Knowing myself, I would be devastated. So when I got dressed and put on my BIG jeans that are nice and loose around the waist, I decided that maybe it was time to do the true test and try on my jeans the next size down. Reality check! I could get them on, but not zipped. Progress, but not enough. Best that I stay off that scale for another month or more.

Breakfast - peanut butter toast - but instead of my normal 2-slices for 100 calories bread, I had two slices of Ezekiel bread which is 160 calories and therefore I opted out of eating anything else for breakfast.

I thought I would not be eating lunch until after 1:00 because of an appointment, so I snacked on this 100 calorie bag of peanut-butter crackers mid-morning.
Oops, the appointment wasn't today, it is tomorrow, so I was back home long before 1:00pm. I made a nice salad for lunch and had some mini rye toasts with cheese and a WW fudge bar for dessert.

Supper was a baked potato with WW cream cheese and some fresh broccoli steamed in the microwave. All that was topped off with a nice strawberry WW ice cream treat for 1 point.

No snack tonight as I am very full and still a long, long way from fitting into my last year's summer clothes. Big, big sigh.

My carriage awaits......

Little House Needleworks
stitched on 28 count Jobelan Dusty Green using Belle Soie threads

The pattern calls for an inner white border, but I have opted not to stitch it. Because I made some major mistakes and had to remove quite a bit of my stitching, I almost ran out of thread. There are 10 stitches of DMC thread somewhere on this piece, but it is my secret.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

04/28/10 - Food

Breakfast - peanut butter toast and some applesauce mixed with yogurt.

Lunch - the sweet & sour lunch special at my favorite Chinese restaurant. Lots of calories I'm sure, but I left a lot on my plate. Yes, I ate the almond cookie that comes with the bill. It tasted so good with the tea.

Supper was a bowl of this butter lettuce with the yogurt dressing.
Along with the lettuce I had some of these lowfat rye mini toasts spread with a little WW cream cheese.
For dessert I had an orange and half a cup of this Lowfat Granola with almonds.
No snacks between meals today, but then I ate pretty good meals and snacking was not a temptation.

Mittens all made

All the mitten blocks are made for my mitten quilt. Next is the sashing between each row and a plain border. There is enough flannel left in my stash to make about 20 more of these quilts. I swear my stash reproduces when I'm not looking.....

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

04/27/10 - Food

Breakfast - peanut butter toast, one egg scrambled, one mandarin orange.

Lunch - sandwich and a few pretzels.
On the way home from church I decided to have a small McDonald's ice cream cone. mmm good.

Snack - some almonds.

Supper - this Healthy Choice dinner. The broccoli in this package was excellent. I would have enjoyed much more. I also had a 1 point WW pita bread with dinner. I was satisfied when I finished.
Even though I was full and satisfied, I wanted something to crunch in my mouth. I searched through the cupboards and finally decided that a 100 calorie popcorn was the healthiest snack to have, would take the longest to eat, and would provide plenty of crunch.

On a completely different subject, this beautiful blooming tree is in my front yard. With clear blue skies, bright green trees and this deep pink blooming tree, the world was glorious with color right outside my front door.

Monday, April 26, 2010

04/26/10 - Food

Breakfast - peanut butter toast, one egg scrambled, one mandarin orange.

Lunch - salad with butter lettuce, broccoli, cauliflower, pickled beet slices, 1/4 cup of chicken and a sprinkling of Parmesan cheese. Also had some carrots dipped in humus. For dessert I had a Skinny Cow ice cream.

Supper was this potato - baked - with WW cream cheese mixed in instead of butter or sour cream.
Then I had this bag of itty-bitty cookies left over from the church retreat.
I also snacked on a few almond clusters even though I was full. Now it is time for bed and I think I will indulge in a small glass of skimmed milk and a teaspoon of peanut butter.

It is always a good day that starts and ends with peanut butter.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

04/25/10 - Food

Breakfast - peanut butter toast and a mandarin orange
Lunch - at church - half a Panera smoked turkey sandwich on rye bread, one bag of chips, 1/3 of a chocolate-chip cookie

This lunch was consumed while participating in a special class (Living the Question). The class was good and there was a good discussion, but I did find during the video clips that sometimes my mind wandered. I would think about how I was only eating half of the sandwich and I could save the other half for my supper. Or did I really want the other half? I could throw it away. But isn't that wasteful? And why did I eat part of the cookie? I certainly didn't need it and now I would need a Tums because the milk chocolate in the cookie is so hard for me to digest. On and on my mind wandered, straying far from the subject we were discussing.

Yes, I think too much about food. The same thing happened in Sunday School before church. Someone had brought a cinnamon coffee cake. It was hard to concentrate on the lesson every time I thought about that coffee cake sitting on the side table being ignored. Who brought it? Would their feelings be hurt if I didn't take a piece? Could I count one piece as my mid-morning snack? Why was I thinking about food while everyone else was thinking about the lesson?

This afternoon the local public TV station was showing the film FOOD, INC. I had seen a small snippet of the film on a talk show and decided to watch more of it today. It is hard to watch, especially the parts with the animals being slaughtered. It sure ruins your appetite. I know there are two sides to every story and this presents only one side, but it sure makes you think about the food that you put in your mouth. Especially the meat. It makes my peanut butter on toast look like the safest thing to eat!

Before the film, I was reading and in order to stay awake while I read, I need to munch on something, so I chose almonds again. An almond takes a while to chew thoroughly, so I can read quite a lot while only consuming a small amount of almonds.

I'm writing this before supper and I have not decided what I want for supper. I think a salad sounds the best - lettuce, broccoli, cauliflower, and some pickled beets for interest. Maybe a 100 calorie bag of Kettle Korn too, or just some bran crackers with WW cheese.

I have not looked at the TV listings for tonight yet, but I hope there is something good on TV that will occupy my mind enough to stop thinking about food. Or maybe I will just go to bed early.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

04/24/10 - Food

Now that I am back home, I can report on my food from last night - supper was broiled fish (don't know what kind as it was an unmarked buffet), rice, broccoli, and a side salad. I was at a church retreat and a few hours later when everyone was having wine, cheese, crackers, and cookies, I was very good and munched on some fresh strawberries.Today for breakfast I had scrambled eggs, one piece of bacon, one mild sausage, 1 biscuit, one small piece of fresh pineapple and two slices of cantaloupe.

I really missed my usual morning peanut butter so one of the men took pity on me and shared some of his crackers with peanut butter that he had brought. It was our mid-morning snack.

Lunch included a small side salad, curly noodles with a mystery meat (probably ground turkey) in a tomato sauce and mixed vegetables.

Back home this afternoon I had some almonds for a snack, and for supper I had a Lean Cuisine Cheddar Potatoes with Broccoli and a WW strawberry ice cream treat.

At the retreat there were lots of cookies, bags of chips, and other temptations that I managed to avoid. I did not feel deprived at all and was sufficiently full from the meals that it was not heroic on my part that I did not indulge.

As for exercise, the retreat was at a huge Catholic retreat center with long hallways and long flights of stairs to climb. I got more steps on my pedometer than I would have gotten at home on the treadmill.

Friday, April 23, 2010

04/23/10 - Food

Breakfast - peanut butter toast and a "Cutie" mandarin orange

Lunch - big salad of butter lettuce, broccoli, cauliflower, chicken, pickled beets, and lite ranch dressing. Carrot sticks dipped in humus. A Diet Coke of course, and a crossword puzzle to exercise my brain.

For dessert, a little bit of yogurt topped with blackberries.
I'm spending the afternoon and evening with friends so I will post my supper food tomorrow.

(Note - those blackberries are sooooooo good.)

Thursday, April 22, 2010

04/22/10 - Food

Breakfast - peanut butter toast and one scramble egg.

Lunch - This soup. It was OK, but I wasn't in the mood for "Light" anything and ate less than half, picking out the corn, potatoes and bits of chicken.
To satisfy my need for munchy stuff, I had some of these Trader Joe's Veggie Sticks, but only a few because the taste was not satisfying me today.
I also grabbed a wedge of this WW cheese. It was good.
For dessert I had a WW ice cream treat.

I went shopping for fresh veggies and fruit this afternoon. Unfortunately I went shopping right after seeing a segment of the movie Food - the segment about the chickens. Awful! I completely lost my appetite. My grocery cart only had fruit, lettuce, broccoli, bread, humus, and some Healthy Choice frozen dinners.

When it came time for supper I still did not have much of an appetite, nor did I feel like cooking anything. A small bowl of yogurt with a little granola added and some luscious blackberries on top was my main course. I also munched on a few carrots dipped in humus and a small bowl of popcorn. Last, but certainly not least, I had a Skinny Cow ice cream treat.

After all of that, I sat at my kitchen table wanting something more. I couldn't figure out what I wanted and reasoned that I was procrastinating again. My various sewing projects waited my attention, the mail was not opened yet, there were emails to answer, and I had some reading to do for church. What did I want to do first - or at all? None of the above. I wanted to eat. I wanted to stuff my face. I wanted to procrastinate.

So I mentally slapped myself, grabbed my jacket, and went outside for a walk.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

04/21/10 - Food

Breakfast - peanut butter toast and a small light yogurt
Mid-morning snack - four True North almond clusters

Lunch - sandwich, pretzel sticks, orange (the lunch I left at home yesterday)

Mid-afternoon snack - 1/4 cup of almonds

Supper - this Healthy Choice dinner. It was very good. Added one WW pita bread.

Time for my night time glass of skimmed milk.

Tomorrow I need to go shopping for more fresh lettuce and some fruit. Should I buy some double-stuff Oreos also??????? No - unless I could manage one cookie a week. Instead I will stock up on those WW ice cream treats.

Sewing fun

Trading services is a great idea. I am going to do binding for friend Moe who does not like to bind in exchange for some machine quilting which I don't like to do. Here are some small quilts she gave me to bind.
This is the back of the first one I did - a Halloween woolie. Isn't the backing fabric cute?
I won't show the quilt front because that is for Moe to do, but I will give a sneak peak at her wonderful stitching of this adorable spider.
Besides the binding, I am working on this mitten quilt (Country Threads pattern) and got seven more mittens done today.
The time goes by so fast when I am having sewing fun, and the laundry that was on my To Do list today did not get done. Oh well.........

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

04/20/10 - Food

Breakfast - toast with peanut butter and a small lite yogurt
Lunch - packed a nice healthy lunch to take to my volunteer job at church and left it at home.
Since I really get woozy and hungry I couldn't wait until I got home to eat my lunch so the church secretary scrounged around and found me some stale crackers, pretzels, and peanut butter. They were really, really stale and did not satisfy. After a few bites, I threw everything out.

I was going shopping and decided to stop at McDonalds to get a fish sandwich. I ate the fish and not the bun, and about half of the fries.

For supper I made some Trader Joe's Vegetable Fried Rice to which I added some carrots. I also had a 100 calorie WW pita, and a 1 point WW ice cream.
No snacks today, but the night is young. I'm headed down to my sewing room and by the time I decide to go to bed I may get hungry again. Hopefully a small glass of skimmed milk will hit the spot.

The good news is that I have a nice lunch all prepared that I can eat tomorrow.

Monday, April 19, 2010

04/19/10 - Food

After four days with good friends - shopping, eating, laughing, talking - it is time to get back on the healthy eating schedule. The first thing I did this morning was throw out all the take-home containers that the girls left in the refrigerator - three pizzas and a chicken/pasta dinner.

Breakfast - back to my usual toast and peanut butter and one scrambled egg.
Mid-morning snack - small light Activa vanilla yogurt.
Lunch - salad with chicken breast chunks, crackers, and a half cup of chocolate Cheerios.
Mid-afternoon snack - almonds
Supper - baked potato and broccoli cuts.
Tonight is my quilting Bee group meeting and the hostess will have a dessert, but she is very conscious of those of us struggling with weight and she will provide a low-calorie option like Angel food cake or fruit.

My cousin, LA (the WW instructor) encouraged me to take a walk each day, even if it is just around the block. I am happy to report that I took a walk on Sunday after my company left and another walk today.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

4/14/10 - Crayons instead of food.

Our minister told a story Sunday about a little boy who dropped his box of crayons all over the table at a restaurant. His mother started to scold him and he interrupted with this wonderful reasoning, "but Mom, look at all the colors!"Our minister went on to tell us that our world is filled with many colors - colors of joy, colors of sadness, colors of happiness and colors of depression. It is all part of life - the bright colors and the dull colors.

This morning as I continued to read the Roth book, she talked about how we see ourselves - as in a mirror. I see fat arms, a double chin, and a roll around the waist. Not good. Roth is trying to teach the lesson that we need to see ourselves as whole, unique and wonderful persons. The fat arms should not define who I think I am.

The above two lessons got me to thinking that over the years, from being young to growing old, my former colorful world of joy and wonder has narrowed down to problems and fat arms. Very sad. How did I get here? How do I get back to seeing the world as all beautiful colors in a crayon box?

One thing I am going to do is enjoy the next few days. Cousin LA and three others are coming for a short visit. These women always bring laughter into my world. We talk and share and laugh and shop and eat and simply enjoy each other's company.

I'm going to take these days as a vacation from this blog - as time to concentrate on the colors of life - and as a respite from reporting my intake of food.

Monday, April 19th, I will be back at this blog.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

4/13/10 - Food

Breakfast was the usual and lunch was a sandwich that I ate distractedly as I worked at church.

When I left church this afternoon I stopped at the grocery store to get some fresh food.

For supper I warmed up the leftover pasta from last night and made a nice fresh side salad. The salad tasted so good - crunchy and light and GREEN - that I gobbled the whole thing down and then did not want much of the pasta - just a small portion and I threw the rest of it out. A nice WW ice cream bar topped off the meal.
All would have been fine if I could have stopped then. But I then wanted a little something salty and had a few Pringle chips. Oops. Put the top back on that container quick. Still wanted something more so I indulged in a 100 calorie pack of peanut butter crackers.

Still the hunger was not fulfilled, which is my problem. I was full, but the hunger was still there. Why? What am I hungry for? Why do I want more food when I am full? Why was I able to stop eating the pasta and then yearn for something else? If I could just learn to stop eating when I am full or learn what to do when I have the insatiable hunger. Still much to discover and think through.

My food shopping included some bananas which I haven't had in a long, long time. They just looked good.
And I also bought this box of crackers - something new on the market. The calories aren't too bad as long as you have a reasonable amount.
Although I did not officially exercise today, I did get a lot more steps on the pedometer just because I shopped at Wal-Mart and the grocery store. Those big stores are my best forced walking exercise. Looking for the light bulbs at Wal-Mart had me going from one end of the store to the other. The grocery store where I shop is going through renovation and it is a guess every time I go there where they have placed my favorite products.

It has been over a week since I first started this blog. I have been much more aware of what I am eating and many times thought twice before grabbing a treat or doing mindless eating because I knew I would have to report it in the blog. I have a long way to go - to learn how to eat wisely, to get more exercise into my life, and to discover what influences my decisions regarding those two things.

Thanks again to all those who are encouraging me.

Monday, April 12, 2010

04/12/10 - Food

Guess what I had for breakfast? You are right! Toast with almond butter and half a Navel orange.

It has been so long since I have been grocery shopping that I don't have any fresh food left in the house, so for lunch I raided my cupboard and found this soup. I have had it before and thoroughly enjoyed it, but not today. Two spoonfuls and I had enough, so I threw the rest out. I think my taste buds were not working because I tried some crackers and didn't like them. Then I went to my favorite Trader Joes veggie sticks and they didn't satisfy my taste buds either. In desperation I had a WW ice cream treat and......
This 100 calorie bag of yogurt pretzels. Not a very well-balanced lunch.
For supper I made a small bowl of pasta with spaghetti sauce, then had some sweet dried prunes for dessert.

How is that for a healthy food plan? Not so good, right? Guess I will go to the grocery store tomorrow. Some lettuce, broccoli and chicken sound pretty delicious right now.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

4/11/10 - Food

This morning a dark cloud descended over my mood. Out of the blue, over a small scheduling problem, and I felt like darkness had taken over my day.Breakfast was the usual toast with almond butter and a Navel orange.

Church helped to life those dark clouds for a while.

Lunch with my family was at Red Lobster where they have those wonderful cheese biscuits. I ate every last crumb of mine, most of my Cesar salad, and about 2/3 of my fish lunch.

Back home after lunch and the cloud was waiting for me. I watched some DVD's, had a few almonds and one WW ice cream treat.

For supper I opened a convenient prepared meal that I purchased at Trader Joes and was very disappointed. I didn't like the taste at all so in the garbage it went. Instead I had some crackers and that yummy WW whipped cream cheese, a glass of skimmed milk, and six almond-granola bites.

It was OK to wallow in my dark cloud today, because tomorrow is Monday - a fresh start - and I have a wonderful week ahead. I'll read a good book tonight, go to bed early, and a good night's sleep will restore my inner sunshine.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Must get to bed soon, so this will be a short post......

Breakfast: toast with almond butter, half a Navel orange.

Lunch: out with friends at a restaurant. Had a tuna melt sandwich on sour dough bread with Cole slaw. I ate less than half the sandwich bread and used my fork to eat most of the tuna and all of the slices of avocado!

Took a stitching class today and after class I was very thirsty. There was a Starbucks across the street so I had my very favorite - Java Chip lite.

By the time I got home, after the Java Chip, I wasn't all that hungry for supper and I was not in the mood to make anything and therefore had a snack supper of crackers and cheese. I was never a lover of cream cheese, but I am loving the Weight Watcher whipped cream cheese.

For a snack this evening I had 1/4 cup of almonds. I love this brand.
I'll probably have a cup of skimmed milk before I get into bed.

This morning I read some more of the Geneen Roth book, did some journaling, and feel like I am making progress in discovering more about why I have such a problem with controlling my intake of food. I'm not ready to write on this blog about it though.

Friday, April 9, 2010

4/9/10 - Food

Yesterday was my color/cut appointment with Becky, my hairdresser. Becky is a young wife and mother with two small children. She is cute and has a nice little figure. I am old, single and have no children. I am overweight and far from cute. However, even though we are complete opposites, we both enjoy each other's company and find many subjects to discuss, never lacking for good conversation.

Becky knows that I have battled weight problems for years as she has been doing my hair through fat and thin. Some of her close family members have weight problems too, so she understands how difficult and devastating it can be.

When I told her that I had started a blog about my weight problem and the food that I am eating, in the hopes that writing about it would help me understand myself better, she started asking me some thought-provoking questions. "Do you think about food all the time?" Yes. "Have you given up on yourself?" No. She surprised me by telling me that she didn't think I was fat and thought I was very nice looking. What??????? I always feel so ugly when I go to see her and it made me feel good to know that she thinks of me as nice looking. Later when I thought about it I realized that she is thinking that extremely obese people are fat and I just have some extra pounds so I'm not really "fat".

We also discussed about how everyone is dissatisfied with their bodies. I think of her as just about ideal and she thinks she has this horrible roll around her waist. She thinks I am just fine like I am and I think I am fat and ugly.

She was not discouraging me from dieting, she just wanted me to start liking myself for what I am and stop beating myself up so much. Her encouragement was another reason I like her so much.

Since I finally finished reading my book club book late last night, I went back this morning to reading the Geneen Roth's book, Women, Food and God. I started all over again because I wanted to underline and journal as I read. So much to absorb - so much to think about. I'll write more about it as I get further into the book.

Food today:
Breakfast - toast with almond butter, half a Navel orange.
Lunch - Egg salad sandwich, pickles, Trader Joes veggie sticks
Book Club - small piece of blueberry cake (no frosting)

Now, here is where I get into trouble. After book club, I didn't want to go home because then I would have to get busy on one of my craft projects. (Have to???) I stopped at the drug store to pick up a prescription and also picked up a magazine (time waster) and the bag of chips seen below. A small bag and with less calories than regular chips - but absolutely unnecessary. I ate the whole thing while reading my magazine. I wasn't hungry and although they were crunchy, they were not anywhere near as good as regular potato chips. Once again, it was a form of procrastination - the magazine and the chips - a stop-gap before having to face my projects.
Now why do I "have to" work on my projects? Well, what else am I going to do with my time? Quilting and stitching and knitting are crafts I have chosen to do to fill my time and hopefully fulfill my need to be artistic and produce things. I have spent an awful lot of money on supplies. I can't just walk away from these crafts and start something new in my life. What would I do?

See, there is so much thinking to explore, so many questions to ask myself, so much more to this weight control issue than just counting calories.

For supper I had the leftover stir-fry veggies from yesterday and the same dessert - one scoop of frozen vanilla yogurt with 1/4 cup of peaches.

I did get busy after supper and worked on some stitching that needed to be done for a class tomorrow. I was very worried about getting the assignment done correctly but surprised myself by making my way successfully through the complicated instructions. My fear was unfounded - my procrastination unnecessary.

Feeling sad that I ate those chips........................ Bonnie

Thursday, April 8, 2010

4/8/10 - Food

My dear WW Instructor cousin (LA) and my 30-minutes-on-the-treadmill-every-day cousin (MB) are constantly inspiring and encouraging me.

LA writes an email to her WW students and in the latest email she talks about exercise and how it "helps my mood, keeps me limber and burns a few calories". Her form of exercise is walking which she does every day, leisurely. She is the one that encouraged me to just walk around the block. She also said in her email that she needs to exercise (walk) in order to maintain her energy level. Did you notice that she only mentioned the positive points of exercise? Not a word of complaint or moaning or excuses. She really spoke what I needed to hear. Therefore, I got on the treadmill today and walked for a bit. A nice leisurely walk.
My treadmill is in the cool basement and faces the big TV (excuse the messy room) which is ideal conditions and should be used more regularly. Sigh.
There was nothing I wanted to watch on TV, so I perched my Kindle on the treadmill screen and started to walk. Remember, I never exercise, so this is a BIG step for me. I covered the time read-out with my Kindle book and set a goal of reading one chapter (long chapters). When I finished the chapter I hoped that I would have at least walked for five minutes which would be good for me. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I had walked seventeen long minutes! WooHoo. I feel more fit already.
Food for the day -
Breakfast - toast with almond butter and half of a Navel orange.
Morning snack - about 5 or 6 almonds
Lunch - Egg salad sandwich, pickle slices, Trader Joes Veggie sticks, WW Fudge bar
Afternoon snack - the other half of the Navel orange and some almonds
Supper - stir fried veggies (carrots, onion, green beans, fire roasted peppers), some more Trader Joes veggie sticks, and a scoop of vanilla frozen yogurt with 1/4 cup of peach chunks on top.

After I finished supper I was full, yet I wanted more. I had a fight in my head over wanting to munch on something more - perhaps some Cheerios - or some Teddy Grahams. I wasn't hungry, I just wasn't ready to stop eating. I worried my way through this problem trying to understand and came to this conclusion: I was brought up to always be "doing" something and if I had to stop eating at that point, what would I do? Eating is a form of procrastination. I am "doing" something when I eat. I wasn't ready to get up from the table and do anything else. However, sanity prevailed and I resisted the temptation to raid the cupboard.

I will go to bed tonight happy that I managed a short time on the treadmill and managed to forgo overeating after supper.

Tomorrow I will tell you about a conversation I had today with the young woman who does my hair. It was surprising and encouraging and helpful.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

4/7/10 - Food

After overeating at supper last night, guess what happened? My blood-sugar was at the higher end of acceptable this morning. Don't know if the two facts are directly related, but I would really like to get the count at a consistent low end of the acceptable range.

Breakfast - toast with almond butter and a small Navel orange.

Lunch - egg salad sandwich, some carrots with one tablespoon of Ranch dressing and a very small serving of Trader Joes veggie sticks. Oh yes, one 40 calorie sugar-free dark chocolate.

Supper - this Trader Joe Rice Noodle Soup Bowl - the whole thing for only 260 calories. The only vegetable in the freezer was green beans which I prepared but only ate a small portion because I'm sick of green beans.
I wanted to get to some stitching right after supper and therefore did not take time for dessert. I will have a before-bedtime-snack of some vanilla Creme Brulee rice snack cakes and a cup of skimmed milk.

My cousin (WW instructor) encouraged me to take a walk around the block today, but since it rained most of the day I had a good excuse (well, kinda) for postponing. If I were as good at exercising as I am at making excuses..................



One thing I pride myself on doing well is binding. Today I sewed the intersections on this binding - all nine intersections - and went to iron them only to discover that I had done them all backwards! I guess I must have left my brain upstairs.

Besides my sewing machine, this is my most valuable and used tool.
Rip-it, rip-it, rip-it.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

4/6/10 - Food

Right this minute, as I write, I am full to bursting. I'm going to try explaining why, but I already know that my explanation is ridiculous.

In the refrigerator was a container with leftover casserole from Sunday. I decided that there was not enough for two more meals, even though I knew that what was left was too much for one meal. However, I heated it all up for tonight's supper. Half way through eating it, if I had been honest with myself, I could have easily stopped as I was quite satisfied. I could have saved the rest for another meal - or I could have thrown out the remainder. Oh, but it tasted so good. So I finished it up, scraping the last bits from the bowl. I also ate all the leftover green beans - again enough for two meals - leaving a few bits on the sides of the bowl. Then I had a Weight Watcher strawberry ice cream bar because I needed something sweet, followed by a piece of sugar-free dark chocolate at 40 calories.

My stomach is bloated with the excess amount of food. However, I don't have to return any more leftovers to the refrigerator and I did not waste food by throwing it away. Now, truly, isn't my thinking ridiculous?

Why can't I stop when I am satisfied or full? Are the starving children going to benefit from me finishing up the leftovers? Do I win a prize from the Clean Plate Club?

I was feeling so good this morning. My "fat" jeans fit a little easier when I got dressed. Lately I have been worried that I was growing out of them. Today, however, fresh from the laundry, the buttoning and zipping was a breeze. Such a nice feeling.

So I had a sensible breakfast of my usual toast and .....ta da......almond butter (instead of the usual peanut butter) (same amount of calories) and a half cup portion of applesauce.

I work on Tuesdays at my church and pack a lunch. I brought one deviled egg, some veggie sticks, and an orange. I spread this modest lunch over two hours, taking little bites now and then as I worked.

When I got home I wanted to read and at my age, reading leads directly to falling asleep. The book I am presently reading is for book club which meets this coming Friday and I really need to get the book read. Falling asleep would not do. The only way to read and not fall asleep is to eat while I read. And the only thing I could think of to eat without adding calories galore was those little snacking carrots. They are OK if heavily dipped in Ranch dressing, but I knew I mustn't do that, so I spritzed them with one of the spritzer dressings. Potato chips would have been much better, but the little carrots did keep me awake.

So a normal (to me) breakfast, a light lunch, and then an out-of-control supper. This is exactly what I used to do when I was on a diet (Weight Watchers, Diet Center, etc.) I would eat very lightly during the day so that I could splurge at night. I'm sure there is a deep psychological reason for this behavior, but I'm too lazy to dig into it today.

No food pictures to show you. It was just another day in the struggle to control my eating.

Monday, April 5, 2010

4/5/10 - Food

Breakfast was my usual toast and peanut butter - and 1/2 cup of Trader Joes applesauce. I had two containers of applesauce in the fridge - one from Trader Joes and one the grocery store generic brand. The generic had less calories than the Trader Joes and they are both plain applesauce. Why did one have more calories than the other? I looked more carefully and discovered that the generic brand contained added water! No wonder there are less calories - water has no calories. I'd rather have the Trader Joes because it tasted so much better - I'll just have to remember to have less - but that is easy when it tastes satisfying.

Lunch was just a snack of one deviled egg, some crab meat and a few carrots. Then I had one of those delicious Weight Watcher Fudge bars.

Supper was leftover casserole from yesterday and some green beans. For dessert I had a sweet and juicy Navel orange - again from Trader Joes. The oranges I have gotten from the local grocery store have no taste and I ended up throwing out most of a bag-full. The Trader Joes oranges are a little smaller, but fully developed and oh so sweet - as good as candy.

Today on the Oprah show, she mentioned a book - Women, Food and God, by Geneen Roth - that Oprah highly recommended. I decided I wanted to read the book. There is no Kindle edition, so I got in the car and went to the local book store to purchase a copy.

I started reading the book this afternoon, but discovered that I needed to read each sentence over and over again to get the meaning, not because it was so hard to understand but because my mind kept wandering. Each sentence lead my mind on a path of thinking. It was hard to stay focused. There is so much to this business of overeating and weight control. If there were an easy answer, everyone would be thin and no one would have a problem with food.

I really want to understand why I overeat and how I can take control. At the same time I don't want to deny myself the enjoyment of food. It is very complicated and full of emotion.

If I find answers for me in the book, Women, Food and God, I'll share my knowledge in this blog.

In the mean time, I have had the munchies tonight and have been snacking on almonds.


Sunday, April 4, 2010

4/4/10 - Food

This morning I was thrilled to see the low, low number when I tested my blood sugar. Yes, I am diabetic and a nice low number means I have been eating correctly. When you are diabetic you are not necessarily sick, so it is easy to ignore the warnings about eating correctly. Unfortunately, if you don't pay attention you can get into serious trouble, and I want to avoid that road if at all possible. So keeping that blood sugar number low is very important to me.

Today, being Easter Sunday, it was not easy to be smart with my food intake, but all in all I think I did a pretty good job. At the church brunch I did not have any of the sweetrolls or donuts or potatoes. I stuck with a small portion of an egg casserole, a small sausage patty and some fruit. I did have one piece of peanut butter toast at home early in the morning just to tide me over until the church breakfast.

The dinner I made for the family was not low calorie by any means, but I avoided the rolls, took a small portion of the casserole and small tastes from the relish tray, one deviled egg, and I did indulge in a piece of the cake my niece brought for dessert - a nice light angel-food cake with cool whip and fruit.

After dinner I made up packages of leftover food for everyone to take home and even packaged up the candy that decorated the center of the table for folks to take home. Now there are no temptations in my house!

Washing up the dishes and putting everything away took me time and energy so perhaps I burned off some of those extra calories from dinner.

Popcorn is a traditional Sunday night supper in our family and I had a 100 calorie bag for my snack supper along with some Weight Watcher whipped cream cheese (very good), some more of those All Bran crackers, and a small dish of natural applesauce from Trader Joes (also very good).
Truthfully, I did better today than I thought I would. I think it was that low blood sugar number this morning that kept me from giving in to large portions, second helpings, and high carb foods.

Also this morning I decided that I was not going to weigh myself all the time. On previous diets the big deal is weighing yourself, as if the number of pounds is the most important thing. The most important thing for me is health and fitting into my clothes. Getting on the scale and watching the agonizingly slow progress - or worse yet, the ups and downs - is too discouraging for me. The clothes will tell me when I have lost weight and the blood sugar numbers will tell me that I am making healthy choices.


Saturday, April 3, 2010

4/3/10 - Food

A big THANK YOU to MB, Sara, LA, and Caryl for your support. (Caryl - there is no email address for you so I cannot reply.) Your encouragement is definitely going to help me in this journey.

Today's food..........

No more oranges in the refrigerator, but there were some red grapes and I had a hand full of them with my usual peanut butter toast and coffee for breakfast.

A small apple mid-morning when I started feeling woozy.

Lunch was the exact same lunch I had yesterday - and just as good.

Supper was this Lean Cuisine pesto chicken dinner. It had three small chunks of chicken, one mostly gristle, and so little volume that I knew it would not fill me up. (The package picture is very deceiving.)
I added some All-Bran crackers - 18 for 130 calories. I love these crackers.
For dessert I had a Weight Watcher strawberry ice cream bar for 1 point.

I'm also going to have my usual before-bed snack of skimmed milk and a spoonful of peanut butter.

My exercise for today was acquired by cleaning my house, top to bottom, and spending quite a bit of time in the kitchen preparing for tomorrow's family Easter dinner.

There were several times today when I normally would have grabbed a snack, but because I knew I would have to blog about it, I refrained. When I have gone two weeks, no, two months, no, two years on this track, I will consider blogging about my food to be a good habit.

New Project

This flannel fabric has been patiently waiting for me to make the Country Threads mitten quilt. I saw the quilt years and years ago when my sister and I visited Country Threads in Iowa. Then several years later I spotted this fabric at the local quilt shop and purchased enough for the backing to my anticipated mitten quilt.Now, in the Spring of 2010, when the bin of flannels is embarrassingly full, I picked out a stack of colors that pleased me and began cutting.
Here are a few blocks that I made. The pattern is so old that the directions require using templates, so I figured out an easier rotary cutting method that I wanted to test out.

In the meantime, the visiting cat found a cozy spot - the recycle basket I keep on the porch. The temperature was warm yesterday and the sun was shining, and he looks very content in this airy, yet confined space.

Yesterday was warm and sunny. Today it is cooler and rainy. Perhaps I will make time today to cut and sew more mitten blocks. Seems silly to be doing this Winter quilt in the Spring, but I'm determined to use up stash and the flannel bin was the fullest.