That Full Feeling

Since April 2010 I have been working on learning to stop eating when I am full.  For normal people, this is not a problem.  For me, it is has always been a problem.  I was never denied food when I was young, but for some reason I have this fear that I won't be able to get that potato or piece of bread or cupcake ever again.  I better eat it NOW, even though I am not hungry.  Or I eat it because it looks good, or it tastes good and I don't want to stop that pleasurable feeling.

Since April I have been forcing myself to stop eating when I am full.  I have been working very hard to be aware of that full feeling.  I have been telling myself that I can have the rest of the potato or bread or cake later.  I make myself put it away, promising that I can have it later when I get hungry again.  Consequently, my refrigerator gets full of little dishes with bits and drabs of food.

Today I had applesauce and one piece of toast with peanut butter for breakfast, thinking to myself that the small breakfast would allow me to have whatever goodies appeared at the Sunday School class.  At class there were muffins, grapes, and apple slices.  I had four grapes and one apple slice.  The muffins were way down at the other end of the table and I wasn't hungry enough to bother asking that they be passed.

At lunch, I ate the roll before my lunch came.  When the lunch came, I was not all that hungry and only ate half of the food, taking the rest home.  We were celebrating a family birthday and everyone ordered dessert.  I declined, not because I am so noble or determined, but because I honestly was not hungry and dessert would have made me feel uncomfortable.

This afternoon I finished up the popcorn from yesterday, then decided that I would just have an apple for supper.  Two thirds of the way through the apple, I had had enough, so I put the rest in the refrigerator.  I had a couple of pieces of lunch meat also and now I think I am done for the day.  Maybe a glass of skim milk before bed will be in order.

Stopping when I am full is getting easier and easier.  I still have a long way to go - so much more to learn.  I am still very much overweight.  However, instead of the yo-yo dieting I have done previously, I think that as I slowly lose weight, it will stay off.